SPASMS

The past couple years I've had to deal with spasms, mainly in my back, but also in my rib cage area and legs.  This started immediately after I had an automobile accident when we were hit from behind by a logging truck. 

I did have Fibromyalgia before the accident, but there are some people who get Fibromyalgia after a bad auto accident.  So the shock of a major trauma does play a part in the mystery of where this disability comes from.  I've discovered a website that talks about getting Fibromyalgia from falling off horses, and I've fallen off a lot of horses when I was younger since I was raised with them.  I also fell out of a hayloft, on my head hitting a concrete floor, and had a near-death experience with a drowning incident when I was about 5.  So any or all of those things, or something else entirely may have released Fibromyalgia into my life.

When the truck first hit us, I was of course in shock, never seeing it coming.  I wasn't driving, but it hit harder on my side, breaking the back of my seat.  We managed to get out of the crumbled car, and before I knew it a police officer was asking me how I felt.  That was the first time I realized my neck felt strained.  (Whiplash)  Thank God, our Protective Father in heaven, that my daughter, who was driving, was not severly injured.  (She also had mild whiplash, but has since recovered.) 

They put me in an ambulance to take me to a hospital to get checked out, and that's when the worst spasms of my life began.  They were so bad, the ambulance crew wanted to call another ambulance to bring medication on route.  But I just wanted to get it over with, so we went straight to the hospital about 20 miles away without stopping.

I can't remember much about that night, but I was released from the hospital with powerful doses of medication, and what appeared to be a fractured rib.  It will be two years from December 27th, and my body still remembers by going into automatic spasms when I move slightly different than it wants me to.  I can't control them, nor can I stop them, but I am learning to live with them. 

I've learned they are like hot flashes (another story, another day), that come when they want, make you totally miserable for a few moments, then slowly fade away.  I've been told to take extra calcium, or to drink more water, or to take more salt, or to take muscle relaxers.  I've tried them all, and the spasms do not quit. The only thing that helps me get through them is to relax as much as possible, stopping all activity, and sometimes breathing through them like a contraction.  I guess that's what they are anyway.

These last few weeks the spasms have been much more common and intense, so I'm wondering if it's because it is so cold out, (Did I mention I live in Wisconsin?),  or maybe because it is getting close to that time of year when the accident happened.  If anything, I am amazed at how our body tells us what is going on, even if we manage to block it out with our mind.  My body is saying, lighten up, take it easy, be gentle with yourself.  It's a rough time, so find joy when you can, and be at peace.  May you all do the same.

"I am who I am with whatever shortcomings."  John Boy on a Waltons episode when he realized he didn't fit in on his first day at college.