People who have been diagnosed with Fibro each have their own level of illness or health, which makes it more difficult for the general public to gain understanding. Some people with Fibro still maintain a full time job and drive, while others are in wheelchairs, barely able to do anything for themselves. If you only know the person who has the full time job, then you wonder why can't all people with Fibro work and drive.
I hope you learn from reading my blog that the different levels have nothing to do with the person's motivation, activity, efforts, or eating habits. We don't know yet why some people have it much worse than others, so all I can do is show you my view, and maybe we will eventually figure it out.
Back to my first statement about being a chronic complainer-I am simply showing you what my life is like, and in order to do that, I can't sugar-coat it. I am not trying to gain sympathy for myself by airing all my complaints, but I am hoping that you will gain insight and understanding, because that's what you need to have compassion for those whom you meet with Fibro or other chronic pain issues. When you have compassion, then there is hope for finding a better way of life for those who suffer.
I was going to write something else entirely when I started this particular post, but I feel that I need to hammer home the idea of compassion. In my experience it seems hard for a person who is naturally healthy, who has normal energy levels, and is not in constant pain to have compassion for someone who appears to not be exercising, doesn't go to bed at a decent time, and then sleeps half the day away. What the healthy person does not see is a lifetime of struggle, trying to get up and get moving, trying to sleep at night, trying to deal with pain without medication. We don't give up, we just try to find the best way to make the most of the moments that we feel good. It's a vicious circle of constantly trying to keep up and never getting there.
If I push myself to normal activity, my body almost seems to plan revenge for making me pay for it later. I've learned to prepare for the recovery of a busy day of activity by not planning anything the next day. Lately I usually don't get through an entire day of busy activity, because I start getting unbearable back pain, followed by irritable bowel symptoms by afternoon or early evening. Afterwards my whole body hurts and is weak and shaky, and I know I'm done for that day.
Before I had my Uterine Cancer surgery, I learned to take two whole weeks of the calendar and X out ANY plans. The week before and the week of my period were so rough emotionally and physically that I found out that no matter what was happening I could not rely on my body to deal with it. No one else knew I did this, but even in my 30's I was beginning to understand that there was NO other option but to stay low for those two weeks. Little did I know that one of the many symptoms of Fibro for most women were horrendous periods and unstable PMS.
I guess that a good description of Fibromyalgia is it exaggerates anything that is going on in your life. If you are under stress, you get high anxiety, irritable bowel, migraine headaches, backaches, etc. If you slip on the ice and hurt yourself, it takes the rest of the winter to recover. Instead of a nagging back ache in the morning, you have extreme pain and can't get out of bed. But, don't misunderstand-PEOPLE with Fibro don't exaggerate, it is their BODIES that do. The people are telling facts.
I went to the dentist two weeks ago. At the time my jaw was burning with pain, but I wanted to get the process over with, so I held on. I am now in terrible pain in my entire bottom jaw, all the teeth, tongue, and top of my mouth to the point where I've had to take extra pain killers every four hours. I'm considering calling the dentist, or going to the doctor to find out if there is anything else going on, but inside I think I'm still recovering. What was a routine two-cavity fill was a traumatic episode for my mouth, and I'm still paying for it. I may have TMJ because I've had that before. I might have sinus issues because I've had that before. Or it might just be that I have to once more give my body time to digest what happened and recover at it's own time, not mine or anybody else's.
What created this war between my mind and my body? I don't know. But the trust is definitely broken. I'm learning not to be mad at my body, but to be a loving, caring friend. It is not my body's fault. I take a lesson from my three cats. When I'm tired, they curl up and take a nap with me, warming the places that hurt with their own purring bodies. When I get up, they get up. They don't judge me, but seem to support me in whatever I need to do. If only people could do that for each other.
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
Leo Buscaglia
