Since starting this blog, I've realized that I'm not writing every day like I intended. I love writing. I have written ever since I was very small. So it surprised me when I found myself not writing on this blog every day.
One thing I noticed is that when you are in chronic pain, you don't sit still, so I don't get on the computer nearly as much as I used to. I can remember getting my first computer. A friend and I worked out a deal and I got an older model computer out of it since she was getting a new one. I was delireous with joy when I found out how easy it was to type and fix my mistakes, or better still let the computer fix them! I found the Internet absolutely fasinating, and began looking up my husband's birth family. I made connections and quickly became pretty good at using it.
Among my siblings, I was dibbed the computer "expert". Of course I really wasn't, but it was nice to know something they didn't. They would come to me when they needed something looked up, or something advertised, or sent to someone. I got a digital camera and created a newsletter and had fun putting pictures and writings together to benefit others.
But as the years went by, the computer became more like a job. I still enjoy communications with distant friends and relatives, but I found that my attention span isn't what it used to be, and I don't stay sitting in the chair as long. Back pain has forced me to change a lot of things, but I never thought it would go so far as to shorten my computer time.
I still hand write every day, but I seem to have changed patterns. I do small projects because if I start big projects I have great difficulty getting back to them. I'm not sure what that's about, but maybe it's got something to do with patience, or the pain driving me to go on to something else to distract myself. At one time in my life I wrote a book and self-published it, but I'm not sure I'm up to that anymore. I would love to, but I'm not sure my mind would stay on one subject long enough.
So I write when I can, what I can, and hope that it benefits someone at some point. I thank you for reading what I write and giving me feedback because it gives me motivation to practice discipline to do what I love. You see, when you have Fibromyalgia, even things you love are difficult or painful, so sometimes you just want to quit. But because of you, whoever you are, I write and hope that something I've said has made sense.
I'm grateful for freedom of expression and the sense of accomplishment I get, even in small things.
“If there’s no struggle, there’s no progress.”
